R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
