The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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