This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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