They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
