ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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