I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
