I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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