Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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