do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
