I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
