Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
