It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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