Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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