Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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