either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
