It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
