You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
