I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
