Whod you bang
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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