Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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