I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
