Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
