Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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