mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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