Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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