you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
