I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
