dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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