I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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