Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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