I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
