I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
