Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
