So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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