"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
