If i come over, it means nothing
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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