I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
