nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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