So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
