Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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