we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
