if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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