and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
