I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
