Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
