i already hear my dad disowning me
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
