2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
