I wanna bring you to show and tell
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
