so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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