did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
